Meltoff.

an admission

Sun, 27 May 2012 22:30:31 -0500

Haven’t been posting very often because I have been struggling with my own approach. It’s really hard sometimes not to give in and do this the unhealthy way, especially on Tumblr where sometimes all there is is a bunch of pictures of fit and also tiny ladies. And sometimes all I see in the mirror is the same overfat girl I’ve always been.

The goal is seeming kind of unattainable, even though I’m still seeing progress. So I’m staying off of this for the time being. It’s not influencing me in the way I should.

girlgrowingsmall: I reblog every potato.

Fri, 18 May 2012 00:05:00 -0500

girlgrowingsmall:

I reblog every potato.

new clothes

Mon, 14 May 2012 14:33:00 -0500

At what point is it okay to start buying new clothes? I can still wear all of my old clothes with the exception of a skirt that I gave to my mom, but I don’t have the most impressive cash flow. My measurements are just confusing… I’m a severe pear shape. My upper body is a size 10-ish, but my lower body is still at least 14. And I haven’t bought a new non-workout pair of pants in years (seriously, years) so I have no real idea what my pants size is. And I’m on a tight budget so I really only want to start buying a lot of stuff once I get to my goal weight…

Maybe I’ll go to Target today and try on some jeans just to figure it out. Weird. I guess I will be in the area since I have some errands I need to run…

I don’t know why I’m so nervous about this! Aaah!

Weird how I look so different wearing the same top.

Mon, 14 May 2012 14:02:00 -0500

Weird how I look so different wearing the same top.

for the unlucky in love

Mon, 14 May 2012 00:55:00 -0500

There is a girl on my Facebook that I worked with a couple years ago, who is constantly falling in and out of relationships - she’s had three boyfriends so far this month - and talking about how there are no good guys left, how all the men in the world are liars and cheaters. She has a one-year-old kid and I think she really wants a father figure for him, but whatever she’s doing is just attracting douchebags.

Note, I haven’t talked to her in about two years since we last worked together, but I keep seeing her drama on my Facebook feed and it makes me really sad to see.

So this is what I posted. If you know anyone else in a situation like this, feel free to pass it on.

My advice is to change your approach completely because what you’re doing now isn’t working.

Stop actively looking for a boyfriend for a good long while and pursue a hobby. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve: you’ve been hurt before and you keep falling in with douchebags who don’t treat you like you deserve. Flaunt your smarts because any guy worth being with is going to be ALL over that and anyone who doesn’t care that you’re smart is just looking for a quick lay.

Go on at least a month of classy dates with someone before calling them your boyfriend… and don’t even IMAGINE that you’re falling in love with someone for at least three months because before that it’s lust. And there’s nothing wrong with lust, because it’s fun… you just don’t wanna confuse one for the other. And you want to make sure you really, REALLY know the guy before entrusting him with the love in your heart, your adorable son, and your future!

And I’m serious about the hobby thing. If you don’t have a social hobby, start one. Join a book club or a hiking club or a knitting circle or something, something that may be out of your comfort zone but will introduce you to new things and new people. It will enrich you as a person and you might even end up meeting Mr. Right this way.

This is just my two cents; you don’t obviously need to take my advice, but I keep seeing you running around on Facebook with douchebags who don’t deserve you.

Good luck!

first lack of motivation!

Sun, 13 May 2012 23:40:30 -0500

I just had this really unhealthy week where I either ate waaaay too little or waaaay too much, mostly because I was eating things I can’t track very well because people wanted to celebrate graduation…

And now I’m on track to eat too little again for another night (865 calories) … I almost feel like depriving myself is the punishment for eating too much on some days last week. Yeah, I know I’m supposed to eat, but if starvation mode is a myth and I’m not actually losing muscle, and I still eat a decent amount of food on some days, then my metabolism won’t get permanently fucked, right?

And then I wonder why I’ve been feeling unmotivated to hit the weights in the mornings when I wake up.

Photo

Wed, 09 May 2012 00:01:53 -0500

180, whee!

Tue, 08 May 2012 23:41:53 -0500

Been a while. Sorry about inactivity. Finals and the end of college forever did it to me. I also took a well needed vacation on the weekend. I ate whatever I wanted to and it was delicious. I might post about that later.

Almost had fried pies since there is a delicious fried pie place on the way to where I was vacationing, but didn’t. My mom thinks I want fried pies because I have been dieting too hard. I wanted fried pies because they are delicious. MODERATION, MAN. And it’s been like a year and a half since I’ve had one. I’m not falling off the boat, I just wanted a pie, and I regret not having one. :/ I know, I know, no regrets, but… NEXT TIME.

Anyway, I guess I should be glad that I did not eat one, because today I hit FREAKING 180 POUNDS AHAHA

I don’t think I’ll realize that I’m 180 pounds until I hit 179 and see that the second number is a 7.

Before/current picture. 184 today. Yay me!

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 00:39:44 -0500

Before/current picture. 184 today. Yay me!

kfinity: Your butt will thank you I can’t wait until I...

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 01:21:47 -0500

kfinity:

Your butt will thank you

I can’t wait until I have squat-ass. I don’t care about abs or biceps or whatever else, I don’t mind being waiflike or whatever up there, but squats make for SUCH nice butts. I squatted 110 today :)

also! i would love to see a progress picture! i just looked at your stats and they seem so fucking amazing, pardon my language but WHOA. GOOD JOB BEAUTIFUL!

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 01:11:20 -0500

I super-extra-promise I will take one tomorrow as I am not very good at taking pictures of myself and my bathroom mirror is tiny! But tomorrow my man will be around and I will be looking extra cute for him, so I will have him take it.

Also, thank you!!! You also are doing awesome yourself. I love to see people who are around the same weight as me also rocking the weight loss; it means we’ll all reach our GWs at the same time if everything goes as planned!

thats what ive been eating with all my food! i have spinach with cucumbers for a side dish. rather than toast or rice or something with a lot of carbs lol. i just needed really good dressing for it. can you suggest any that you like? :) also, thanks for the suggestion! im sure we have chicken breast down in my freezer...just gotta look for it. xD

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 01:02:57 -0500

AN ASK :D I LOVE YOOOU

As for salad dressings, I love to cook so I like to make my own! I whisk together a little olive or sesame oil, then lemon or other citrus juice, salt and vinegar! If I have fruits handy then I like to mush up a fruit in with the dressing like raspberries or strawberries, either do it in a blender or just mush it up with a spoon, which gives it an awesome sweet taste :) Fruits are also awesome to put on top of salads - a diced up apple or dried cranberries or apricots always make me happy.

Sesame oil + a little orange juice + rice or other white vinegar + a little soy sauce makes an awesome Asian dressing.

Just remember to taste it often to make sure you come up with something delicious before you douse your greens, and always measure how much oil you use!

With chicken breasts, I experiment with all of the different spices in my cabinet. Sometimes I make up some kind of fun marinade before I go to work or school and soak the chicken in it all day so that when I cook it later it’s really flavorful! In general, I try to mix an oil, a salty thing, and a sweet thing in all my marinades. I often include a sour thing, too. I often do olive oil-soy sauce-maple syrup.

but salt is gooood

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 22:15:44 -0500

18. Try to use as little salt as possible today or maybe even none! Don’t buy microwave meals and don’t eat foods high in sodium.

lol I was totally going fine with this until I went out with my mom and had a bacon cheeseburger patty for dinner :]

Just the patty. I didn’t feel like buns or sauce or whatever. It was pretty good.

I’m going to fail the “food challenges” every week, haha.

i wear ring size 6 3/4, by the way, in case anyone is curious

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 13:43:43 -0500

17. Do you have a special event/date you want to lose the weight for?

No…

lift ALL the weights!

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 13:30:05 -0500

lift ALL the weights!

This is taking a lot of courage.

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 23:47:18 -0500

Here are my before pictures.

This is at around my highest weight, October 2006-March 2007. I was around 235 lbs at this time and dropped 30 without worrying too much about it - it was a pretty dark time in my life and when things stopped being so dark I stopped eating piggily.

Here are my pictures closer to my starting weight of 213. They were taken from 2006-2012.

yeah that is Sarah Palin hanging out with Pyramid Head.

These are a little humiliating to post, but I’m going to put up some goddamn stunner after pictures when the time comes :D

depressing

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 23:30:53 -0500

I’ve been digging through old pics looking for some of me at my highest weight and my starting weight this time, and now I’m just depressed.

I can’t believe I let myself get as big as 235 at one point.

I mean, I’m happy that I have less fat now, but I’m embarrassed to even put this stuff on my goddamn fitblr.

Oh well. At least it’ll make for really awesome before-after pictures.

caaankles

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 22:49:19 -0500

16. Which part of your body do you wish to change the most and why?

Hard one. I guess if I had to choose, I’d pick my calves. Even when I was in high school - and I was still a fattychan in high school, mind you, but slliiiiightly less of one - I always had these huge, meaty calves, leading down to cankles. I’ve always been pretty cankly. I wear skirts, so I show my cankles off to everyone, and I’d like to have lovely slender ankles. So yes.

Me in 2008. I’m on the left. This is Japan.

I guess I am pretty overdue for a “before pictures” post. Or like a faq or something. Herp… derp.

weightlossproblems: Submitted by: nikkisixxchick I’m so...

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 02:22:04 -0500

weightlossproblems:

Submitted by: nikkisixxchick

I’m so scared that this will happen.

the end of my obesity

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 23:16:10 -0500

Haha, I’ve been slacking on this so hard. It’s hard to update the thing during the weekend. I have a bunch of roleplaying games I attend. Also, my boyfriend distracts the hell out of me. It feels good.

So here are like 5 of these to catch me up, herpderp

11. Today you will be cooking for your whole family. Find a healthy recipe online that they will also enjoy and show them how tasty healthy food can be!

First of all, I basically am my own family. I live alone, which is pretty cool, although I do cook a lot for Ryan. I cook for myself every day. This, however, fell on a Wednesday. I don’t often cook on Wednesdays because we go over to a friend’s house for our Mage game, and she cooks for us and it is awesome.

I made some pretty good stuff this weekend, though, such as North African-spiced shrimp with bacon orzo. It was pretty good. I’m a good cook, sometimes. I also made chocolate chip-toffee cookies, which were probably too good. It made 42 cookies or something, and I had 6 total from Thursday to today. I had a lot of half cookies. I’m kind of glad they’re gone. They were probably too good.

12. What is your least favorite type of cardio?

Sports. I am allergic to sports. I hate them.

13. What is your favorite type of strength exercise?

Barbell squats? Or maybe the deadlift at this point. I dunno.

14. What is your least favorite type of strength exercise?

I don’t like the bs “strength” exercises that are fed to ladies by women’s health magazines in the name of “toning.” Barbie weights (you know, less than 10lb) are retarded and you are retarded if you use them. Pick up a fucking barbell and put some weight on it and fucking squat.

Curls are also pretty retarded. Do compound exercises, fools. Otherwise you’re just wasting your time.

15. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week?

Why, yes I have. I weighed in today at 185.4 lbs. -1.8 from last week. You know what this means, folks?

MY BMI IS NOT CONSIDERED OBESE ANYMORE